Cute Short Quotes

 

Once you get people laughing,
they're listening and you can
tell them almost anything.
- Herbert Gardner

People who laugh actually live longer
than those who don't laugh.
Few persons realize that health actually
varies according to the amount of laughter.
- James J. Walsh

Be yourself. Who else is better qualified.
- Frank J. Giblin II

Comedy is a tragedy plus time.
- Carol Burnett

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
- Dick Clark

If the sky is the limit,
then what is space, over the limit?
- Unknown

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies
allowed to see them?
- Unknown

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
- Unknown

When French people swear
do they say pardon my English?
- Unknown

A rich man's joke is always funny.
- Thomas Edward Brown

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait'
just the leftovers from the
people that got there first?
- Unknown

Remember, if you smoke after sex
you're doing it too fast.
- Woody Allen

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny"
or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny",
why would it even be funny in the first place?
- Unknown

If the swat team breaks down your door
do they have to replace it later?
- Unknown

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
- Unknown

Why do people say
"The alarm just went off"
when really it just came on?
- Unknown

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I’ve done it dozens of times.
- Mark Twain

 

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