Funny Inspirational Quotes
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute,
and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour,
and it seems like a minute.
- Albert Einstein
Good health is merely
the slowest possible rate
at which one can die.
- David Rosam
The main thing is
keeping the main thing the main thing.
- German Proverb
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I was thinking one day
and I realized that if I just had somebody
behind me all the way to motivate me
I could make a big difference.
Nobody came along like that
so I just became that person for myself.
There are three types of people in this world:
those who make things happen,
those who watch things happen
and those who wonder what happened.
- Mary Kay Ash
It is a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
You know, somebody actually
complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen,
it said 'Parking Fine.'
- Tommy Cooper
Opportunity is always knocking.
The problem is that most people
have the self-doubt station
in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.
- Brian Vaszily
Burn your computer.
Blow up your TV.
Bludgeon your cell phone.
This, my friends,
is the secret to inner-peace.
- Brian Vaszily
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Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady.
But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
- Will Rogers
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
Best friends are the people that
know all about and still put up with you!
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- Charles Schulz
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