Funny Motivational Quotes

 

I am not afraid of death,
I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Here is a test to find whether
your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive it isn't.
- Richard Bach

Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts.
- Unknown

I couldn't wait for success,
so I went ahead without it.
- Jonathan Winters

The elevator to success is out of order.
You'll have to use the stairs...
one step at a time.
- Joe Girard

The difference between
perseverance and obstinacy
is that one often comes from a strong will,
and the other from a strong won't.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Borrow money from a pessimist
- they don't expect it back.
- Janeane Garofalo

By working faithfully eight hours a day
you may eventually get to be boss
and work twelve hours a day.
- Robert Frost

Some people develop a wishbone
where their back bone should be.
- Unknown

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- mbrose Bierce

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

I used to sell furniture for a living.
The trouble was, it was my own.
- Les Dawson

I am free of all prejudices.
I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields

When a man steals your wife
there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Behind every successful man is a woman,
behind her is his wife.
- Groucho Marx

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
- Ellen DeGeneres.

All trespassers will be shot on sight.
All survivors will then be prosecuted
to the fullest extent of the law.
Have a nice day!
- Unknown road sign

 

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